Sunday, July 3, 2016 – Kings

Gun to my head, the show I am most excited for each year is Colossus’s annual 3rd of July Spectacular. 2016 marked my 3rd year of witnessing Raleigh’s premier adventure metal band grab some special guests and don the ol’ stars and stripes in order to shred through a phenomenal setlist of America’s finest songs about…America.

TV Man and his TV Band

Opening the night was TV Man and his TV Band, who bring TV themes and jingles to life. They kicked things off with the Game of Thrones theme but the set quickly rooted itself in the songs of yesteryear by dusting off such forgotten memories as the Gummy Bears theme, the Perfect Strangers theme, and a mid-set chewing gum jingle medley.

TV Man and co. were definitely having a good time and not taking themselves too seriously, which is good because during their set, I envisioned TV Man getting a holiday phone call from his elderly, estranged father. It might have gone something like this:

Father: “It’s good to hear from you. So what are you doing with your life now, sonny?”
TV Man: “I’m in a cover band that plays the Perfect Strangers theme and the Jeopardy question music.”
Father: “I have no son.” *click*

Some people just don’t get it, but don’t worry, TV Man. I get it.

3/5 stars = Good
“Standing tall on the wings of my dream”


2014 (which I believe was Colossus’s inaugural patriotic bash) showcased songs from two of the most rockin’ American movie soundtracks: Top Gun and Team America: World Police. The band were decked out in their finest flight suits and aviator sunglasses to rip through such favorites as “Take my Breath Away” and “Freedom Isn’t Free.” 2015 showed Colossus branching out even further to add various American rock classics by artists such as Tom Petty and Bruce Springsteen.

The 2016 edition continued with the previous year’s formula of continuing to add some new hits to the setlist. I did my best to catalog the songs as they were being played but I was drinking steadily so please forgive any faux pas. I did manage to quote some of Sean’s bon mots though. [Editor’s Note: No, the irony of using multiple French words in a piece about America is not lost on your humble writer.]

1. “Star-Spangled Banner” by Francis Scott Key
2. “We’re an American Band” by Grand Funk Railroad
3. “Born to be Wild” by Steppenwolf – “About the movie Wild Hogs, which is about some old dudes driving around trying to solve a mystery or some shit.”
4. “Danger Zone” – Kenny Loggins – “You know what’s American? Flying a fighter plane into a fucking sunset.”
5. “Playing with the Boys” by Kenny Loggins
6. “We’re the Kids in America” by Kim Wilde
7. “America, Fuck Yeah” by Trey Parker
8. “Fortunate Son” by Credence Clearwater Revival
9. “Hollywood Nights” by Bob Seger
10. “American Nights” by the Runaways
11. “American Girl” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
12. “Real American” by Rick Derringer
***Wardrobe change: Cowboy***
13. “Wanted Dead or Alive” by Bon Jovi
14. “Freedom Isn’t Free” by Trey Parker – “Man, America. You’re the best. You drank all the Jell-o shots.”
15. “Cowboy Song” by Thin Lizzy
16. “Lost in America” by Alice Cooper
17. “Born to Run” by Bruce Springsteen
18. “Foreplay/Long Time” by Boston
19. “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus
20. “Free Bird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd
21. “Top Gun Anthem” by Harold Faltermeyer & Steve Stevens
22. Reprise: “America, Fuck Yeah” by Trey Parker

As with last year, “Playing with the Boys” saw the band toss beach balls into the crowd, mentioning that they worked better than volleyballs. “Real American” (Hulk Hogan’s entrance theme) facilitated a short wrestling performance by actors portraying the Hulkster and the Iron Sheik. Stage shenanigans are really the name of the game at a Colossus July 3rd bash. Extravagantly patriotic outfits mixed with some guitar wizardry make for a great and silly performance. Fuck yeah, America. Fuck yeah indeed.

4/5 stars = Great
“I hopped off the plane at L.A.X. with a dream and my cardigan”

– Negadave